For Parents & Caregivers
First — take a breath. You're already doing something right.
You noticed something. You started paying attention. You went looking for answers instead of hoping it would pass. That matters more than you know.
Reaching out for support for your child is not a sign that you've failed. It's a sign that you love them enough to get them what they need — even when that's hard.
When to reach out
So how do you know when it's time?
Trust your gut — and then look for patterns. A bad week is normal. A bad month that won't shift is worth paying attention to.
It might be time to reach out when your child or teen is:
Having meltdowns or emotional outbursts that feel beyond their age
Withdrawn, quieter, or more disconnected than usual
Anxious or worried in ways that are affecting daily life
Struggling at school — with focus, motivation, friendships, or behavior
Complaining of stomachaches or headaches without a medical cause
Going through a big change — divorce, loss, new school, new sibling
Saying things that worry you, even if they can't explain why
You don't need a diagnosis. You don't need to be certain. If something feels off — that's enough reason to reach out.
What "normal hard" vs. "needs support" looks like
What's normal — and what's a signal?
Every child has hard days. Every teen has hard years. That's just development doing its thing. But from a psychodynamic perspective, behaviors like anxiety, withdrawal, or aggression are often your child's way of communicating something they don't yet have words for.
The difference is usually about three things:
Duration
Has it been going on for more than a few weeks? Persistent patterns are different from hard phases.
Impact
Is it affecting relationships, school, or their sense of themselves?
Intensity
Is the behavior or emotion disproportionate — bigger than the situation seems to warrant?
Your gut
Are you starting to feel lost about how to help? That feeling matters too.
Your role in the process
What does your involvement actually look like?
Huge — and also manageable. Here's the practical breakdown:
For younger children
Regular parent check-ins every 4–6 sessions. We talk about what you're noticing at home, what I'm seeing in sessions, and how to support your child in between.
For teens
A slightly different balance — teens need their own space. But I keep you in the loop in ways that respect their trust. In California, teens 12+ have the right to decide how much parents are involved.
You're not just dropping them off.
You're part of the team. Your insight into your child's world is one of the most valuable things you bring to this process — and the check-ins are a space for you to feel supported too, not just informed.
What to tell your child
What should I say before the first session?
This is one of the most common questions I get — and it depends on the age.
Ages 4 - 9
"We're going to visit a special playroom where you get to be in charge. There are toys and art supplies and you can play however you like."
Keep it simple, positive, and true. No need to mention "therapy" if that word feels loaded.
Ages 10–12
"I found someone really good to talk to. She helps kids figure out big feelings. You don't have to say anything you don't want to."
Teens
"I'm worried about you and I love you. I want you to have someone to talk to who isn't me — someone who's completely on your side."
And then — let them look at this website themselves.
A note for you — not just your child
Parenting a struggling child is exhausting in a particular way.
You're carrying their pain on top of your own worry — and often there's very little space for you to process any of it.
The parent check-ins aren't just logistical. They're also a place for you to feel supported — to talk about what's hard, what's confusing, and what you need.
You matter in this too.
If you find yourself wanting more than a check-in offers, I also work with adults individually. Sometimes the most powerful thing a parent can do for their child is take care of their own emotional life too.